Now that Tim Burton’s remake is all but forgotten,
watch the Planet of the Apes movies reclaim their place as the best talking animal franchise
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.
Wait, why does Dawn come after Rise?
Don’t you rise after the dawn?
Settle in for the thinking man’s summer blockbuster chock full of
and a monkey dual-wielding machine guns on horseback fighting a tank.
OK that was kinda dumb, but who cares?
Thrill as apes engage in guerrilla warfare
against a society of way less interesting humans, like
the pragmatic leader who spends most of his screen time talking into a bullhorn,
"We've been through hell together!"
and this... kid who... draws things.
Yeah, let's get back to the apes.
See Andy Serkis deliver an Oscar-worthy performance
by capturing the graceful movements and emotions of Caesar
and doing his best Christian Bale Batman impression
while the cast and crew deliver an even MORE Oscar-worthy performance by not laughing at
a tiny British man in a unitard pretending to be a monkey.
Wow, when you take away the CGI, this looks f*cking ridiculous.
So immerse yourself in a movie full of stunning visuals and great acting, that will have audiences
everywhere ignoring its forgettable plot about fixing a dam
"The city used to run off nuclear power, but that ran out years ago so we've been using
diesel generators and gasifiers. But if we could just get this dam working…"
And the super cliche death of the main villain,
because once again: apes with guns on horseback equals AWESOME.
Starring...
Actually, they’re pretty clean, and civilized.